The 7 Blessings Of The Hindu Wedding

The Hindu ceremony, a rite known as 'samskara', has many components and it is quite beautiful, specific and filled with chanting, Sanskrit blessings and ritual that is thousands of years old. In India, it can last weeks or days. In the West, it typically is at least two hours long.

It is the role of the Hindu priest or 'pandit' to lead a couple and their families through the sacrament of marriage. However, as an interfaith minister, I’ve had the good fortune of being called upon by Hindu brides and grooms and couples who love Hindu rituals, to incorporated some of the rites into non-denominational, interfaith or multi-faith ceremonies.

An important aspect of the Hindu ceremony is to light a sacred fire, created from 'ghee' (clarified butter) and woolen wicks, to evoke the God, Agni (Fire God), to bear witness to the ceremony.

The highlight is 'Saptapadi', also called the 'Seven Steps'. Here, traditionally the bride’s sari is tied to the groom’s kurta, or a sari shawl might be draped from his shoulder to her sari. He leads, her pinky linked with his pinky, in seven steps around the fire, as the priest chants the seven blessings or vows for a strong union. By walking around the fire they are agreeing to these. With each step, they throw small bits of puffed rice into the fire, representing prosperity in their new life together. This is considered the most important part of the ceremony, it seals the bond forever.

A nice way to adapt this into a creative, contemporary ceremony is to light a traditional fire, or use a candle, placed on a small table in front of the wedding altar. Bride and groom can be in tux and white dress as they take seven steps while seven blessings are spoken in English. Here are Seven Blessings adapted from a Hindu ceremony.

1. May this couple be blessed with an abundance of resources and comforts, and be helpful to one another in all ways.

2. May this couple be strong and complement one another.

3. May this couple be blessed with prosperity and riches on all levels.

4. May this couple be eternally happy.

5. May this couple be blessed with a happy family life.

6. May this couple live in perfect harmony… true to their personal values and their joint promises.

7. May this couple always be the best of friends.

One thing I appreciate about the Hindu ceremony is that bride and groom come to the altar as God and Goddess, in human form. In many parts of India the bride is considered Lakshmi, Goddess of Fortune, and groom is her consort Vishnu, the Great Preserver.

I believe every bride and groom should walk down the aisle feeling divine!

About the Author: Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is one of New York's leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiants. She serves couples of all backgrounds, cultures and religions, and helps them celebrate their love with a highly personalized ceremony. She is known for her warm, loving, and creative approach to blessing couples in love. Rev. Laurie Sue is also a widely recognized bridal stress expert. She is author of "Wedding Goddess: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss" (Perigee Books, May 2005).

About.com Hinduism - Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

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Is Hindu Marriage is Sacrosanct? Why?

In Hinduism, man and woman represent the two halves of the divine body. There is no question of superiority or inferiority between them. However, it is a scientific fact that the emotional side is more developed in women. Hindu history is witness to the super-women, like Gargi, Maitreyi and Sulabha, whose faculty of reasoning was far superior to that of ordinary mortals. But owing to organic differences in their physical and emotional constitutions, women are temperamentally more emotional than men. Having recognized this fact, Hindu scriptures or 'Shastras' have allotted certain specific duties to Hindu women. These duties include maintaining domestic peace, adjustment of social relations and attainment of spiritual perfection.

The idea behind the institution of marriage in Hinduism is to foster, not self-interest, but love for the entire family. Practice of self-restraint is the ideal of marriage in Hinduism. It is the love and duty cultivated for the entire family that prevents break-ups and any thought of polygamy.

Duties of a Hindu Woman

Having recognized this fact, Hindu scriptures or the shastras have allotted certain specific duties to Hindu women. These duties include maintaining domestic peace, adjustment of social relations and attainment of spiritual perfection.

The Idea of Marriage

The idea behind the institution of marriage in Hinduism is to foster, not self-interest, but love for the entire family. Practice of self-restraint is the ideal of marriage in Hinduism. It is the love and duty cultivated for the entire family that prevents the break-ups.

Men by nature are less capable of self-restraint than women. That is why, after marriage the Hindu women lead the men by keeping the lustful propensities under control. While married, thought of any other man does not enter the mind of a Hindu lady until she loses her faith in her husband due to his consistent misbehavior and 'don't care' attitude.

The Sanctity of Marriage

The present-day Hindu husbands fail to recognize the sacrifices and lofty ideals of Hindu wives, and thus compel them to follow the worst of the West. During the nuptial ceremony in a Vedic marriage, both the bride and the bridegroom take oath for the practice of self-restraint, to work together for the welfare of the family and to help each other to attain spiritual peace. This lofty ideal of sanctity is a great gift of Hinduism to the world at large.

Protecting the Institution

It should be a matter of great concern that we have begun to ignore the ancient and lofty ideals of Hindu marriage and are anxious to follow in the footsteps of cultures that do not value these ideals. Although Indians are among the most married societies in the world and there are laws governing marriage among Hindus, the number of divorce suits filed by Hindu couples is on the rise. Instead of strengthening the traditional ideals, which for thousands of years have helped us prevent marriage and family break-ups, we are misdirecting our energies towards promoting the ideal of sense-enjoyment and self-interest. In my opinion it is still not too late to be proactive to protect the sanctity of Hindu marriage.

Subhamoy Das & Gyan Rajhans - Ideals of Hindu Marriage

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Kallazhagar Chithrai Festival

April is not the cruellest month for Madurai, despite the cruel summer. In fact, it is celebration time. For the next few days, the city will be bursting at its seams with the devotees thronging the northern boundary to welcome Lord Kallazhagar into the Temple City.

If it is the Meenakshi Thirukkalyanam, which holds the centrestage in the central and southern parts, it is Lord Kallazhagar's entry into the Vaigai, on the other side of the river, which generates a lot of enthusiasm.

The whole city will be wearing a festive look as residents prepare themselves to usher Lord Kallalagar into their households. Villagers in and around Madurai congregate in the city, occupying every available space at Tallakulam pulsating with colourful lights. A plethora of games at the impressive Chithrai exhibition will be a good treat for the rural conglomeration.

To cap it all, no one could miss the characters, wearing motley dresses and colourful caps (`salladam', specially designed for them).

Even if you fail to take notice, they will be right behind to remind you of their presence, spraying water (which they carry in leather bags hanging from their shoulders).

They don't have any inhibition whatsoever, and if they feel they are ignored, then they will come in front and spray water right on the face of the person who avoids them.

It will be a real `chilly' moment, indeed.

Now, over to the Chithrai festival of the Kallazhagar Temple.

"Though there are so many myths about the Kallazhagar's purpose of visit to the Temple City, the most popular belief is that the deity's visit is to relieve `Mandooga' Mahirishi of his curse," says Sundara Naraynan Battar, hereditary priest of Alagarkoil. "But, the entry into the river was a concept which came much later. Usually, the crowd gathering for the Alagarkoil fest will be more, as many consider the presiding deity at the Temple as their `kuladeivam' (family God). It is a firm belief that the God fulfils all their prayers and so, many consider the deity as a good companion to share their problems with. In fact, the villagers were so obsessed with the Lord that they even shared their earnings with him''.

In the past, the general practice was to take the deity in a procession around Alaganallur and Thenur en route Vandiyur, travelling along the banks of the Vaigai, also known as Vegavathi, for three days. But it was King Thirumalai Naicker, who, in an effort to club the Chithrai festival at Alagarkoil with that of Meenakshi Thirukalyanam, and also to reduce time, laid the present path (the Alagarkoil Road), to provide an easy access to the city. And now, the deity could reach the destination in just a day.

"By doing so, the King saved two days and he planned in such a way that the festival of the Meenakshi-Sundareswarar Temple is fixed on those two days," the priest says.

Marking the festival, members of various communities start their `viradham' on the New Moon day, preceding the Full Moon day, which will go on for the next 15 to 30 days. During the festival, they spray water on the devotees to provide them a brief respite from the scorching heat.

"The practice of spraying water came into being as the sweltering heat and the sandy path caused great inconvenience to bearers of palanquin in those days'', the priest says.

The return journey of the God assumes importance at the Appan Thirupathi, where the villagers organise various functions including the `cock fight', quite famous in this part.

T. Saravanan - The Hindu

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Tirukalyanam: Lord Subrahmanya - Valli

Legend has it that the ghat region of Tamilnadu was ruled by Nambirajan, the king of the Kuravas or the hill tribes. Nambirajan worshipped Shiva, praying for a daughter; his prayers were answered and it was revealed to him that he would discover a baby in the nearby woods and that she would be his daughter.

Accordingly the Kurava king discovered ‘Vallinayaki’ in the woods and brought her up as his own.

Valli grew up to be a beautiful maiden and Subramanya - son of Shiva and Parvati sought her hand in marriage. Their courtship is full of very interesting stories which form the basis of many and folk and classical performing arts in Tamilnadu.

Murugan assumed the form of an old bangle seller, and sold bangles to Valli, in return for a local delicacy of honey soaked corn flour. A conversation ensued between the two, which was interrupted by the arrival of Valli's brothers, a valiant lot who were highly possessive and protective of their sister. Flustered by their sudden appearance, and unwilling to indulge in battle, Skanda manifested himself as a Vengai maram (a stump of which is still seen in the Temple at Velimalai in Southern Tamilnadu).

Skanda appeared again, in the guise of an old tribal king and sought her hand in marriage. The brothers materialized again, and Skanda transformed himself into an old ascetic from the Himalayas, and they left the spot.

Upset by the ongoing hindrance, Skanda sought the help of his brother Vinayaka - the remover of obstacles, who appeared on the spot as a wild elephant. The scared Valli, embraced Skanda and promised to offer him anything in return for protection from the wild beast. Skanda sought her hand in marriage, and Valli consented gladly, realizing that her suitor was none other than Murugan, whom she and her tribe held in great regard.

Valli married Murugan and the marriage was celebrated in great splendor by Nambirajan, the King of Kuravas.

Indian Temples - Valli Kalayanam

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Tirukalyanam: Lord Subrahmanya - Devayanai

Long, long ago, when Lord Subrahmanya was staying at Kanda Verpu, the two daughters of Lord Maha Vishnu, Amrita Valli and Sundara Valli, cherished the desire of becoming the consorts of Subrahmanya. With this aim in mind they both went to Saravana Poigai and commenced austere penance to fulfil their desires.

Pleased with their prayer and worship, Lord Subrahmanya appeared before them and told Amrita Valli, "You will be brought up by Indra as his daughter and I shall marry you in due course." Her younger sister Sundara Valli was also graced with a similar blessing. She was born to sage Sivamuni and brought up by Nambi, the headman of Veddas.

Amrita Valli took the form of a female child and went to Mount Meru, the abode of Indra, and told him, "I am the daughter of Maha Vishnu and the responsibility of looking after me has been entrusted to you." On hearing this, Indra became very happy and directed Airavatam, his white elephant, to take care of the child.

The elephant with all love brought her up and affection and she attained the age of marriage in course of time. Hence she came to be known as Devayanai, one who was brought up by the heavenly elephant of Indra (yānai in Tamil means elephant).

The six sons of sage Parasara were cursed to become fishes in the Saravana Poigai. On request for redemption, these six boys were ordered to pray to Lord Subrahmanya.

When they got his darshan, they could get redemption. It was also made known to them that Lord Subrahmanya would come to Tirupparankunram after vanquishing the demon Surapadma. Anxiously they waited for the arrival of Subrahmanya.

When the mission of Subrahmanva to vanquish Surapadma was over at Tiruchendur, on his way, he came to this spot followed by all the devas and heavenly beings whom he had released from the untold miseries caused by Surapadma.

On his arrival at Tirupparankunram, the sons of Parasara received Subrahmanya and, at their request, he consented to stay there. He at once ordered Viswakarma to construct a beautiful abode for himself, for the devas and for others.

He also suggested to the heavenly architect to build roads and erect a city around them. Indra, the king of the angels, desired to get his daughter Devayanai married to Subrahmanya, as a mark of his gratitude for relieving him and the devas from the depredations of the demon Surapadma.

He expressed his desire to Brahma and Vishnu who were present there. They were only too glad to hear the proposal. When they communicated the desire of Indra to Lord Subrahmanya he readily agreed to it and said: "Devayanai has been praying at Saravana Poigai in the Himalayas for this happy marriage. Now the time has come for its being solemnised." As Subrahmanya agreed to this marriage, Indra sent a messenger to bring his wife Indrani and daughter Devayanai from Mout Meru.

The marriage took place at Tirupparankunram, after the victory of Subrahmanya over Surapadma. All arrangements for marriage were made and the marriage was performed at the Tirupparankunram Temple. All the devas, Siva and Parvati attended the marriage and blessed Subrahmanya and Devayanai. Since then, the temple has become a very famous abode of Subrahmanya.

Lord Murugan Home Page - Tirupparankundram

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